Theres a Raccoon in the Sandbox
by MusicAgainstTheHeart
Summary: Amusing drabbles about our favorite red haired, love-less, stalked by rabies infested fangirls Kazekage. Please Review!
1. Cocoa Powder

Gaara looked down at the recipe book Kankuro had given him earlier that morning. It was Temari's birthday and it was his turn to make the cake. Well, actually,_ every_ year was his turn, seeing as a couple years back, the siblings almost became homeless when Kankuro left the cake in the oven a little too long.

Sighing, the red head went to get out all the ingredients. Water, eggs, butter, olive oil, flour, the list went on. But his gaze stopped once he saw it. _It. _

It got him every time, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't resist sticking his finger in the container and licking the substance off, which usually lent to gagging and running to the sink to wash out his mouth.

But not this time, no. This time would be different; he would NOT fall for it, because THIS psycho had will power.

Dumping in the contents of all the other ingredients into a bowl, he turned to the cupboard._ The_ cupboard. The cupboard with _it _inside.

Walking over to it and opening the door he saw_ it_. Taking it out and holding it in his hands. Hands which his fangirls said to have been "carved out of the richest minerals into god-like forms" or something like that.

Looking at the label, Gaara's mind started to make up excuses. _'It says 'Cocoa'! So it has to taste like chocolate, right?'_

His will dying with a spatula to the heart, he popped off the lid, stuck in his finger and licked it off.

"ACK! IT'S HORRIBLE! It LIES! It's all 'I smell nice, EAT ME!' and then when you do, YOU GET A WAKE UP CALL!"

Kankuro walked into the kitchen a half an hour later to check on the cake; what he found shocked him.

"Yes, I would like to file a complaint. I demand that you change the label on your product. Yes, I know its only baking powder. Yes, I am sane. Do you know who you're talking to? IT LIES, DAMN IT!"

Kankuro backed out of the room. Next time, they were going to the local bakery.

**I hope you all enjoyed it! Suggestions for drabbles are welcomed, well more like needed. Message me your ideas!**

**REVIEW WHILE YOUR ADD IT ALSO!**

**Wuv,**

**MusicAgainstTheHeart**


	2. Zoo

His food scratched at the glass. It was being looked at. His food did not like to be looked at. His food raised a claw and scratched at the glass wall again. His food wanted out.

'_Ha, you can't get out. There's a wall there, but you haven't figured that out, have you? Stupid food, I don't know why I like you so much.'_ Gaara's tongue left his mouth subconsciously and licked his lips hungrily.

His food stopped scratching at the glass and started to bob his head angrily. How dare this-this _thing_ stare at him like he was food? Didn't this thing know that staring was rude?

Food and Thing stared at each other for the longest time until Temari tapped Gaara on the shoulder.

"C'mon Gaara, Kankuro's already at the parrot exhibit. Lets go!" She grabbed him by the shoulders and led him away.

'_Parrot. Parrot sounds good. Never had that before.' _Gaara thought. As Temari would soon come to realize, never EVER bring Gaara to the Zoo while hes been forced to eat only tofu for the past week and a half because of Temari's idea of him going on a diet.

**Did ya like it? Huh? Huh? Huh?**

**Wuv,**

**MusicAgainstTheHeart**


	3. Box

It was Temari's 'Time of Month' again, and when Temari is PMSing, you better stay away at a twenty-three meter radius or more, unless you're looking for a quick, painless suicide. Unfortunately, Gaara hadn't learned when it was the best time to shut up. Or when to run away and hid in a venting system for the next week.

Temari made her way to Gaara's desk as if she were tip toeing through a tulip patch. She was humming a tune as she went over to the bewildered Kazekage and hugged him.

He let out a squeak of surprise as Temari took her pointing finger and pushed down on his "oh-so-smexy" nose and giggled. Gaara's eyes fallowed her finger until he looked like a cross-eyed chipmunk.

"Temari…?"

The blonde giggled again and handed him a small box with a perfectly tied red bow. Was it going to explode?

Temari started to laugh as if she was in a cheesy mad scientist movie. It was going to explode, wasn't it. The PMSing chick then skipped back out of the room and closed the door, leaving a bewildered Gaara with a box that he was sure was going to go 'boom' at any moment.

Carefully opening the box with this arms out stretched as far as they would go, he looked inside. There lay, on a pillow of red velvet, a yellow smiley pin. Gaara blinked as he picked up the pin, stared at it, then promptly pinned it to his robes.

Later that night, Kankuro found a box with a pretty red bow placed on top on his night stand. It exploded.

**Oh yeah, three of these in one day. Go me, I'm awesome. Ehehehe...**

**I need prompts, just give me a word and I'll try to write a drabble off of it.**

**Wuv,**

**MusicAgainstTheHeart**


	4. Electricity

The lights flickered for the third time that day. The twelfth time that week. Gaara rubbed his temples, a habit he had developed a while after this all started. He could kill Temari, but he wasn't going to. Killing your siblings is rude.

Besides, he couldn't really blame his sister for yelling at Kankuro. All he had been doing for the past month was sitting on the couch with T.V. remote in his pudgy hand.

He remembered how Temari had thrown a fit at him, telling him he needed a hobby. So, the next day, Kankuro went out a bought an electric guitar (with an amp), an X Box 360, and a new laptop. Why? Gaara didn't know and found it meaningless to even try to ask. He assumed his brother was trying to set the record for 'most pointless things done at the same time'.

"Kazekage?" An ANBU appeared in front of his desk. "There's a message for you." He said and handed Gaara the scroll. The ANBU then left in a poof of smoke. Gaara opened the scroll, read it, then feel out of this chair and started twitching. That HAD to be the worlds most expensive electric bill EVER.

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**Wuv,**

**MusicAgainstTheHeart**


	5. Bug

A shriek came from the kitchen. Gaara looked up from the book he had been reading. The sound came again, accompanied by an overturned chair and running footsteps.

"Get it! Get it! Kill it! GAARAAAAAAaaaa!"

Kankuro was standing in the doorway, or at least he was. After his little 'outburst' Kankuro ran over to the chair and stood on top of it.

Gaara gave the distressed cat man a _'you just interrupted my book, and it is a GOOD book. so whatever it is that's causing you to scream like a fangirl had better involve your life.' _look.

Kankuro ignored the glare, grabbed his little brother and dragged him to the kitchen. They waited. And waited. And waited. They spent 5.430495832 minutes waiting. Gaara turned to Kankuro and gave him another look saying _'you wasted 5.4304(and then some) minutes of MY life to show me my kitchen in which I have lived in for my whole existence. do we need to get your head examined? again?_

Just then, a cockroach scuttled across the tile floor. "There! Get it! Kill it!"

"It's a bug." Gaara blinked. "You took me away from my book for a bug? Oh, let me guess, the Aburame?"

Kankuro shuttered at the memory; bugs. SO many bugs. Crawling all over his body.

The cockroach crawled over his bare foot and Kankuro shrieked once more.


	6. Shrimp

_How dare he? How DARE he call me…_ Gaara couldn't finish the thought. He was mad. VERY mad. He needed a drink.

Gaara went to go into the kitchen, and almost tripped over one of the (many, 15 to be exact) bug traps Kankuro had set ever since the last update.

He stepped over a trap and went over to the cabinet where the glasses were stored over the counter.

Unlike most people his age, Gaara hadn't had a growth sprit. At all. And what most people did not know was that the Kazekage was very sensitive of his height. So when he went to reach for a glass on one of the shelves, he couldn't help but let several choice words escape his lips when he realized he couldn't reach any of the cups.

Looking around, he grabbed a chair and moved it under the select glass. He climbed on top and grabbed his prize.

He heard whistling by a voice he knew, and at the moment, despised.

"Hey Shrimpy, whats up?" Naruto asked as he reached up and grabbed a glass, turned to the refrigerator and poured a glass of juice. "See ya, Shrimp."

Gaara gripped the glass so hard it shattered and Gaara cursed again. But not because of the three inch long gash that now ran along his hand, but the name. Fine. Sure. He WAS short! But not THAT short!

**Thanks for all the reviews and for the prompts!**

**Wuv,**

**MusicAgainstTheHeart**


	7. Costumes

"Which one do you like more? I like the green one. Then again, the blue one does show off my figure, don't ya think? But then again…." Temari continued to blab as she picked up a costume, made a commit about it, then either throw it into the 'No' pile or the 'Yes' pile. At the moment, the 'Yes' pile was about 5x bigger then the 'No' and more then once did she retrieve one or two from the smaller pile.

Gaara and Kankuro both sighed in unison. They had been listening to Temari look at different costumes in the store for the past three hours, and she had been trying to decide between the 'green and blue' costume for the past eighteen minutes. _EIGHT FRIKEN TEEN!!_ Course in reality that's not long at all, but when you think both get ups look something Dorothy might wear if she were a prostitute and/or you think your sister has no fashion sense what-so-ever (even though its you that looks like a "whore-in-man-form" (at least in HIS costume anyway)) then eighteen minutes is a pretty damn long time.

"Gaara! You're _supposed_ to be helping me!" Temari whined "And stop looking at me as if I were dressing up for a strip party! Now tell me which one you like more!" Gaara's eyes snapped open as he looked around. Kankuro wasn't at his side any more; he must've snuck off somewhere again, leaving his to help his sister. Kankuro was gonna get it when they got home, however at this rate, they might be here till closing time.

"Well?! Which one is better?" Temari asked again. Gaara looked at the first, then the second, they both looked equally slut-ish.

"…You sure you're not going to a strip party?" Temari sweatdroped.

"No. I'm not. Now," she said, "CHOOSE ONE!!"

Gaara stood up, "WHY DON'T YOU CHOOSE YOUR OWN SLUT COSTUME?!"

"BECAUSE I NEED YOUR OPINION!!"

"WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU WANT MY OPINION?!"

"BECAUSE I NEED A MANS JUDGEMENT!!"

"WHY? SO YOU CAN IMPRESS YOUR BOYFRIEND?!"

"HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND!! NOW CHOOSE!!"

"FINE! I CHOOSE THAT ONE!!" He said (more like yelled) exasperated, and pointed at the ceiling.

"THAT'S THE CEILING!! I CAN'T WEAR THAT!!"

"DOES IT LOOK LIKE I CARE?! GO ASK KANKURO!!"

"ARE YOU KIDDING?! HIS COSTUME PRACTICALLY SCREAMS 'LOOK AT ME! I'M A WHORE-IN-MAN-FORM!'"

"Yeah, it does, doesn't it?"

"So, now will you help me?"

"NO! I'M GONNA GO GET MY OWN COSTUME!"

**Happy (Early) Halloween**

**If you laughed, then you MUST review! Got that?! **

**Do it. You know you want to. **

**PLEASE?!**

**Wuv,**

**MusicAgainstTheHeart**


	8. Candy Corn

Gaara looked down at the note card Temari had given him before they left the house to go "Trick or Treating".

"Its just a pre-caution. It has everything you need to know in case you were to get lost or-"

"Come on Temari, let's go already. Screw the cards, we _live _on this block, remember?" the Where-Wolf said. Kankuro had to change what his original costume was because his siblings kept stating that he looked like a, well, the comments weren't very nice, so to speak, so he went back to the costume store and got the where-wolf costume.

Temari had also given up on her original planned costume and was going as a witch; a very HOT witch in some male's opinions.

Gaara ignored his siblings squabbling and went to the front door with his pillowcase. He didn't really see the point in all this, but everyone else was doing it, so… why not, right?

His costume was the best. So who cared if the other two laughed? Or that the lady at the register gave him a weird look? It was his first year Trick or Treating and he knew that that all little kids started out a bears or candy corns or something not scary and since this was his first year, he was…

a pumpkin. A big, poufy, plush, orange pumpkin. And a down right smexy one too.

Gaara started out at first house. "Trick or-" he looked down at his card, "Treat?"

The old lady did a small double take as she smiled and handed him a fun size crunch bar. This continued on for sometime, he ignored the houses that didn't have the porch lights on and made sure he looked both ways before crossing the street, just as Temari had told him to.

As he approached the next house, an old guy glared at him as he walked up the steps and took a bag of candy corn out of the bowl that laid by the old man's feet. He wore an expression that said 'I don't like kids.' _I think he poisoned it._ _I'll make sure I give this to Kankuro when I get home. _He thought, making a mental note.

The rest of the night passed without incident, except at the last house, in which a guy asked him if he wanted to 'come inside'.

"No."

"Ya sure?" the guy slurred. He sounded a little tipsy. "Theres a partay goin on and…" the guy didn't finish, cause he passed out. Gaara blinked, took the bucket full of laffy taffy and high tailed out.

~Back Home~

"You certainly got a lot." Temari commented as they all dumped their 'treasure' onto the carpet.

"Kankuro, want to trade my candy corn for your whoppers?" Kankuro didn't need convincing, he lunged for the triangle shaped delicacy and through the whoppers at his younger brother. A minute later, they were gone, and seven minutes later, Kankuro was pale and twitching on the ground and Temari was screaming for a medic. Gaara tore off the wrapper of a candy between his teeth and began to savor the taste of banana laffy taffy as three guys in white picked up Kankuro and hauled ass out the door. Next year, Gaara wanted to be a Candy Corn.

**Is that too long to be a drabble? I hope not. Please review!!!**

**My teeth hurt...too much candy. OW!!! **

**Oh, and the guy with the poison candy and the guy in the house, that all actually happened to me, only, I'm not sure if the candy's actually poisoned or not, I gave it to my brother though. LOLz. And the other guy happened too, only he wasn't drunk. **

**I was a fairy. A DARK fairy. REVIEW!!!**


	9. Slushie

**Oh crap. I'm sooooo sorry I didn't update! FORGIVE ME!!! I PROMISE TO UPDATE MORE! THATS MY NEW YEARS RESOLUTION!**

A blood curdling scream, running footsteps and a door slammed open.

"Gaara! What's wrong?!"

"Is it Shukaku?"

"Tell us what's wrong!"

Temari grabbed her younger brother by the shoulders and started to shake him. Kankuro bitch slapped him (or man slapped, whichever meets your fancy).

"No. It's not Shukaku, so stop shaking me…and did you just bitch slap me?"

"Then…why'd you scream?" Both siblings asked.

Gaara spun in his wheelie chair in the direction of his desk, on top of it was a green liquid in a plastic To-Go cup. "I just drank my slushie too fast."

**reveiws are like...like...I'm running out of comparisons....like hot coaco on a cold day! so if you want to embrase the warm, chocoalatey goodness, REVIEW!**


	10. Cold

It was cold. Very very cold. Gaara came to the conclusion that his hatred for the cold weather (and just about anything else under room temperature for that matter) had grown over the past few months, or years, whenever the last time he encountered snow was, which was most likely never.

It looks so fluffy, so warm, so…inviting. But jump in a pile of it and you experience something to the same effect as the dreaded cocoa powder.

And that's why Kankuro got a broken nose after throwing a snowball at his younger brother, which, consequently, went down his shirt.

Not the prettiest sight one would want to see.

**Eheheheee...this is in honor of our favorite red head. HAPPY BIRTHDAY GAARA!!! **

**Review Please!**


	11. Animal Instincts

'_This is Kankuro's fault.'_ Gaara thought as he stared down at the unconscious boy that lay on the medical table. The kid had a bruise the size of all of Suna on his face, or at least that's what this mother continued to insist upon, whom would make this claim in four minute intervals.

The attack had been meant for Kankuro, who had mad the mistake of throwing a water balloon in his younger brothers general direction. Sure the balloon had missed Gaara by a mile and then some, but it was pink. _Pink! _You would be upset too if you saw the color of EVIL!!!

And so Gaara chucked a pile of hot sand at Kankuro, whom which, ducked, having more or less learning his lesson from the snowball encounter. The sand then hit an innocent bystander, who was the kid.

"Where am I?" The kid asked; pull Gaara out of his flashback.

His mother ran over to his side, planting him with hugs and kisses, looks like he had woken up.

"Take me back to the ocean!" he said, starting to freak out.

His mother pulled back, a look of question on her face.

"I can't breathe! I can't breathe!" He was now screaming as he tried to get up, but only flopped onto the floor, landing on his face. He began to wiggle his limbs. "Where are my fins?" his breathing became ragged. "Water..." he said weakly. "I need water."

Everyone in the room backed away slowly and out of the room as he started to crawl under the table; inch worm style.

**Oi! HI PEOPLE! Heheheee, um yeah, about the lack of updating...I have no excuse, I'M SO SORRY!**

**If you recognize part of this scence, its from another Fanfic called Boys and Girls. Its HILARIOUS, so make sure to check it out sometime.**

**Hope you enjoyed this one!**

**Wuv,**

**MusicAgainstTheHeart**


	12. Writing Exersice

"…after returning the lost cat to its owner, she offered them money in return. What happened next? Finish this story."

Temari, Kankuro and Gaara sat in a small room on an overstuffed couch, across from them sat the social skills teacher that the Council and Elders had hired for the siblings. Why? It was just a guess, but Gaara assumed it had something to do with the kid he hit with the wad of hot sand that was meant for Kankuro. At least he wasn't screeching for the ocean or crawling like an inch worm anymore.

Noooo now he was just howling like a banshee every time he saw the color pink. But hey, at least he had an excuse, pink is EVIL.

"The kids politely declined the money the grateful owner offered them and instead, they insisted that they help her with the chores around the house." Temari said.

"The kids _accepted _the money the owner offered them and took off to the nearest candy store." Kankuro spook as if the prospect of running to the candy store was actually possible at the moment.

The S.S. Teach. nodded approvingly and turned to Gaara expectantly.

Gaara sighed, then spook; "Instead of accepting the money, the kids crucified the cat, skipping home merrily with blood on their shirts and joy in their hearts."

Everyone's mouths hung open as Kankuro asked; "Are you on something?"

One glance at the mentally disturbed social skills teacher, Gaara stood, making his way to the door and said; "Tch, I wish."

**Heheheee, thats what its like in my English class, more or less.**

**Aren't you guys lucky that i updated so soon? ^^"**

**Well, thats it for now:**

**PWEASE REVIEW!**

**Wuv,**

**MusicAgainstTheHeart**


	13. Sub Conscious’

**Another chap, thats 3 in one month! Today I decided to update because (drumroll please)**

**...**

**TODAY'S MY BIRTHDAY!**

**So, I decided to give YOU people a present, lucky peeps. **

One glorious morning, we find our hero sitting at his desk, doing paper work. He had been working for several hours now, as his hand was starting to cramp.

"_Lets take a break, I could use a snack. A muffin. A nice chocolate muffin."_

"S-shukaku?!?" Gaara thought, his eyes wide. Gaara's daemon had been gone for some months now, and the red head was just getting used to the quite.  
_"WHAT?!? Pssshh...don't even get me started with that dumbass, stupid raccoon!"_ The voice continued. _"Who the hell did he think he was, putting me down for fifteen years?!? Well, Shukaku-baka's gone now...and I'm here!"  
_"If you're not Shukaku, then who are you?"  
_"I'm your conscience!!!!"_ The inner voice cried out with glee, _"WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"_  
"Great," Gaara thought, "Now I'm hearing a crazy voice in my head!"  
_"...I heard that you know..."_ The voice in his head said.  
"..." Gaara tried not to think anymore, but was failing miserably.  
"_So can we break? We've been working forever!!!"_

"Go away, you nutcase."

_"...I have a name you know..."_  
"Yeah, and what would it be?"  
_"It's...UKAKUHS!!!!"_

"....Huh?"

_"It's Shukaku backwards..."_  
Gaara almost face faulted. "What the hell? What kind of a name is Ukakuhs?!?"  
_"Well,"_ Ukakuhs pointed, _"It used to be Steve, but after that damned raccoon started messing you up...I felt that I needed to change my name! I vowed to become the opposite of Shukaku!!!!"_ Ukakuhs struck a dramatic pose in Gaara's mind.  
"Including your _name_?!?" Gaara thought incredulously.  
_"Yes,"_ his conscience confirmed. _"Even my name."  
_Gaara felt like smacking his forehead, but he decided not to.  
_"So we break now, yes?"_

"Shut up, erm-what's-your-name?"  
_"IT'S UKAKUHS!!!"_ The voice in Gaara's head blared.  
"...Can't I just call you Steve?"  
_"NO!"_ Ukakuhs protested loudly.  
"And why not?!?"  
_"Because, I'm not Steve!"  
_"But...it would be easier..."  
_"Nope, you may address me only as Ukakuhs...BECAUSE I VOW TO BE THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF SHUKAKU, THAT BAKA TANUKI!!!"_ Ukakuhs struck yet another dramatic pose. _"I am to be 100 percent good!"_  
"100 percent insane is more like it," Gaara thought, every word dripping with sarcasm.

**Brilliant, right? Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...**

**Reviews are the only things that get me through the day, that and chocolate. AND I'M ALL OUT OF CHOCOLATE! SO REVIEW!**

**Wuv,**

**MusicAgainstTheHeart**


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